He taught me how to laugh

This is me, Katie Crunch. Actually as you may have guessed this isn't really my name, it's a name I was given in college for my inexplicable ability to find trouble and mishaps wherever I go. The years have passed but not much had changed, my ability to veer from one disaster to another had been so well practised it became part of my character.

Many years, various disasters, two children and a few hundred miles later then one day all this changed. I'd met a man, a real gentleman, just what I needed and the most stabling influence I had ever met in my life. He taught me how to laugh again, something that had been long forgotten and he taught me how to slow down enough to take in the wonders of every day, enjoy my children and to just generally enjoy 'being'.

Last week after five years together the crushing news came that this man, who brought so much into my life has cancer. Suddenly, after taking laughing for granted for so long I remember what life was like before I met him and I'm scared I'll forget how to laugh again.

He's being tough, worrying about everyone else because that's what he does. He worries about being a burden on me and I wish I could put him inside my head with the myriad of thoughts I have and show him how I feel. That every second spent in his company is an honour.

We're told this is a normal way to feel.