Chemo was gruelling again this week but you coped well as you always do. You have horrendous mouth ulcers and are fed up of being tired all the time but you've muddled along and made the most of it.
Now it's over again, for a couple of weeks this time and you have more colour in your face, your appetite is returning and you're a little less tired, I wonder if it's just me and because the chemo has made you so ill but you look better than ever. Better than you've looked for a year maybe, before this disease took over our lives.
Then the cough starts, I have never known anyone cough so much. By Tuesday you are in agony, something hurts in your chest and you can hardly move. Maybe I was imagining you feeling better because suddenly you seem more ill than ever. I call the doctor.
You've broken a rib coughing, if it wasn't so sad and painful I'd laugh!
It's not the best news but there is good news, bad news. Apart from that the doctor says you look well, listens to your chest and says your lungs seem to be working much better. He's not an oncologist he tells us, but he thinks the chemo is working.
I joke "It's only a broken rib, stop grumbling, you could have cancer for goodness sake". You laugh, it hurts but we do have something to smile about, a glimmer of hope, for now.
It really is a rollercoaster and I'm guessing this is a normal way to feel.
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